To be honest, I knew that this was likely to happen. After procrastinating for many months, I have set up a blog and one week later, I have stopped updating it regularly.

No apologies. I'm lazy.

Another week in Ghana, lazing with my friends - eating, drinking and occasionally going out. I'm doing what I came to Africa to do - spending time doing nothing much, thinking, reflecting and trying to work out what's going on in my head. However, when I see the poverty around me in Accra, I conclude that introspection is a luxury reserved for rich white folks. The majority of people living in places like Africa have to concentrate on more immediate things; for example, where is the next meal coming from, where do they get some more clean (or relatively clean) water and how can they get some medicine for a sick child?

I wish I could sort this relationship thing out.

An Australian blog (ms honeysmack) talks of our need for intimacy. I don't think we can help it - it's primal. As a species, we have evolved (or been created, depending upon your theology) to require strong pair bonding. I suppose that's a necessity for our biological survival.

I am alarmed by the many women that I know who are busy building careers and who have put long-term relationships, children and family "on hold". For many of them, the "on hold" has turned into "never to have". I acknowledge that it is their right and their decision to do that. They usually say that they are happy in pursuing their careers, and that they do not regret the lack of a relationship or a family life. They accept that it's the price of playing the "boy's game" in the career stakes - and if you want a career, then you have to play by the boy's rules, because that's how the system works.

I think our society is evolving faster than our biology, and that for many of us, our social existence and our biological existence are now unsynchronized. Biologically (and emotionally?), we are first and foremost organisms for creating babies and nurturing children. But as our role in society has changed, and as we engage as full and competitive equals with men, that biological aspect of our being has become an impediment. Alternatively, society has not evolved far and fast enough to enable us to function as full participants in society, and at the same time live out our biological role.

I'm rambling on.

The core of the problem is that women can now participate in all of life's contests, and aim for the same glittering prizes as men, but we have to do it according to the rules which society has developed over the centuries for a male focused society. The rules of organizational behaviour in Western society have evolved around a patriarchal society, and women coming into those organisations have to follow those maledom oriented rules.

Men don't have to interrupt their careers for several years in order to have babies and to take care of young children. Of course, women can work until the last trimester of pregnancy, then put the baby into childcare after 3 months or so - but that raises a big question in my mind about the long-term development of children who spend only a few hours each week in contact with their parents. Many women who interrupt their careers briefly to have a child have only one child because (a) they are unwilling to risk further damage to their career prospects with a subsequent pregnancy and (b) they delay their first child until their career is established, which means they have their first child in their mid 30s and then discover that in their mid 30s, they barely have enough energy to look after one child, let alone 2 or 3.

The prospect of a generation of only children growing up with little physical and emotional contact with their biological parents concerns me.

Remember that anyone with career ambitions in the private (and government) sector is expected to work 60 to 70 hours per week, possibly more, to spend periods of time away from home, and to spend time outside of work on networking, reputation building and the organizational politics which are a part of building a career.

Australian schools and universities keep telling young women that we can have it all - career, family, relationships, financial fulfillment, emotional fulfillment etc.

The truth is, we can't!

For many women, the reality is that we can have either a successful career or a successful long-term relationship and family - we can't have both. If we want a full "as far as we can go" career, then we have to follow the career path set down for and by men. We have to play by the boy's rules and, unfortunately, they don't have to worry about interrupting their careers in order to have a child.