I watched the Monty Python Parrot Sketch and was reminded of the following email from a girlfriend in Melbourne.

"Jessica wishes to officially announce to the world that she is up the duff.

She has a bun in the oven. She's in the family way. She is on stork watch. She's in the pudding club. Jessica has been knocked up. She is exhibiting signs of man-juice infection. She has been fertilized, inseminated and impregnated. Daniel has known her in a Biblical sense. She has secured a beachhead on the shores of the Uterine Sea. She's eating for two. She is in a delicate condition. She will soon be spinning off a wholly-owned subsidiary. She is awaiting the Teletubby invasion forces. She has got a 3-month pass for the morning porcelain express. She's renting out the guest room. She will be buying futures in sardines and pickles. She has profaned Jesus, Holy Mother Mary and all the angels in heaven by shamelessly advertising the fact that she has had sexual intercourse (trollop that she is).

Jessica and Daniel are ecstatically happy."