Grrrr! I hate airports and airlines.

Dear QANTAS air crew.

We like riding in your plane even less than you like having us there.

We know that we passengers are a burden to you and that the whole thing would run sooo much better if passengers could be taken out of the equation.

Tell you what. Let's make a deal. We won't scowl at you if you don't scowl at us. And please don't try to turn those scowls into pseudo-smiles; you end up looking like you've been constipated for the last 96 hours.

Love,

Your domestic passengers.

PS: If you ever bump me and my business class reservation off the LAX to Sydney flight and strand me in Terminal 4 for 24 hours again, I'm gonna sue your arses off, denied boarding compensation or no denied boarding compensation.